Wednesday, September 25, 2013

Dark Side

       Lately i have been thinking about joining the dark side of the force. They have it so easy, all they do is destroy and sit back and wait for us to come clean things up. Plus they have really cool powers, they can shoot lightning out of their hands and even have the force choke move that always gets me. I don't know why the light side has little to no powers at all. The only thing we can do is force push and pull. We also have the occasional light saber boomerang thing.

      I have been debating this for a while now. I mean i would be unstoppable, i would have all the wisdom of the force and all the powers, plus all of my hundred's of years of experience. People would fear me and i would be the king of all planets in my galaxy. Not even the Sith lord would be able to overcome me. I know i could never give into the temptation though, because if i did i would kill and ruin all the people im trying to help. Plus being in the good side also feels good too. I would hate to ruin all the people that have put their trust in me and the counsel.

Attack of the clones

   After i busted up in the bad guys stadium, i carried away Princess Amidala and Anakin Skywalker in my cool flying airship. We then gave chase to Count Dooku, he thought he could escape us. We eventually trapped him in this cave thing and took out our sabers and had a duel. Obi-wan and Anakin did terrible. I watched them get beat up for a while. Anakin lost his hand in battle, Obi-wan got cut up and force pushed into the wall. I then decided to end Dooku's fun, i walked in on my little cane, and started doing work. I took off my jacket and took out my saber. Dooku was thinking he could beat me, until i started flipping all over the place, like a monkey.


       I was beating him, until he decided to cheat and use the force to shoot lightning out of his hands. What he didn't know is that i can absorb lightning and use it against him. Once he knew he couldn't beat me he used the force to break a tower thing and forced it towards Obi-wan and Anakin. I couldn't let their useless lives to go waste, so i caught the big tower with the force and set it on the ground next to them. Dooku escaped with his puny life no thanks to these useless padawans.

Monday, September 23, 2013

This morning

      This morning i woke up to my Anooba ( hyena like creatures native to Tatooine) barking really loud at the neighbor. My Anooba's name is Keurig. I am hating life right about now, later on today i have to attend a eight hour meeting with the counsel. I'm pretty sure were gonna argue about how certain people have certain problems that don't even matter. I mean come on ive lived over 900 years and i don't have any problems. These dang counsel people need to get a life, and go live it without me. I have the right to be a grumpy and old fart. I have lived long enough to complain about these things.

       In the past few weeks i have been collecting light sabers, and this morning i have finally received my last one in the mail. It is my favorite saber out of my collection i am calling it The Raptor.

      Later that morning i decided to go and eat some bacon. When i was half way done with my third piece of bacon my Anooba attacked the rest of them. He somehow got out of the backyard, and it took me about an hour to get him back into his cage again. After that decided to check in with the counsel and found out that the clones are attacking a few if my friends. I decided to take a few Jedi and bust up in the bad guys arena.

Info on me, this is

Yoda i am,  i have absolutely no friends, but who needs friends when you have DA FORCE! I sit around on a floating old man walker i do, and tell my padawans what to do. Every 100 years or so i have to fight an occasional villain. I like to think of myself as a smaller version of the hulk i do. The hulk is kinda like a younger beefier version of me, he kinda looks like me in my teen years, about 800 years or so ago. Cool fact here is, i have a statue of me in Lucasfilm Ltd. production studios in San Francisco. I am also the 25th greatest movie character of all time i am.

One of my best friends is Kermit the frog. We go out and fish, and talk about our days and stuff. 

My name is a byword for wisdom. My favorite Jedi is Obi-wan Kenobi, he never questions my authority, and he never turned evil and killed alot of random innocent people. My favorite breakfast food is bacon.

 I have never attended school, because born i was with the name Yoda, which is wisdom. needs who to go to school when you have wisdom as your name. I have also never been to the movies, but ive heard that they have moving pictures that tell stories.

Wisdom at its best

Wisdom at its best